There is an I Don’t Care (but I do really) make-up trend that is definitely not as easy as it sounds. I will try to decode it for you.

The ‘up all night’ beauty look is one I can get on board with, since it suggests an imperfect ease that doesn’t require much skill other than, well, staying up all night. The thing is, this is beauty we’re talking about, and the results of a debauched night out are a world away from the contrived lived-in-look-that-isn’t-actually-lived-in, and that's the one we’re going for. Herein lies the problem.
I definitely prefer my hair in its just-woken-up, disheveled topknot, a thing of mystery that I can NEVER recreate from scratch. But the terrible matted flyaways at the nape of my neck mean I can’t just rock it to the office. Same goes for the panda-eye kohl residue that is not just lived in, but slept in, and looks a bit grubby, frankly.
Several years of harassing top Fashion Week make-up artists backstage has taught me a thing or two about exactly how to cheat these things and, in the wake of another season of undone-but-done (Topshop Unique referenced a debauched garden party – think Princess Margaret meets Courtney Love), I thought it was time to share. It’s all in the application.

Skin: ‘Raw’ skin is what we’re technically calling it, but that word makes my skin itch, so I’m calling it ‘invisible make-up’. For this, you need coverage that lets your skin show through. The trick is to water down your foundation with moisturiser, or go for a sheer option to begin with.

Eyes: The key, and the most difficult thing to get right, because no amount of applying and smudging will get anything other than a smudged-in look, as opposed to the desired lived-in look (yes, there's a difference). What you need is to make it ‘travel’ (make-up artist speak for 'move around and distress a bit'), and you can only do this with Embryolisse Lait-Crème Concentré Nourishing Moisturiser, £13. It’s so cult we all stocked up every time we went to a French pharmacy, but is now available in Boots. Apply kohl pencil. Dab on Embryolisse with a cotton bud. Watch magic happen. You are welcome.

Lips: Start perfect – apply with a brush right to the edges for the neatness – but also the exact and minimum delivery of product that then dabs in easily with your finger for a slightly worn-in finish. No blotting, no repeat layers.

Hair: It needs product and tongs and ruffling and finger-brushing, but since everyone is so vastly different, I’m leaving that lesson for another day. One up-all-night-beauty-look-at-a time people. My reflection is telling me I need coffee, now.

MY UP-ALL-NIGHT KIT

Topshop Kohl Pencil in Coal, £4
A great combination of sticky but moveable, so bits of it stay where it should while the rest does its thing with the moisturiser.

Embryolisse Lait-Crème Concentre Nourishing Moisturiser, £13
As good at soothing skin as it is at distressing eye make-up.

Burberry Lipstick in Oxblood, £22
Matte, deeper shades do dishevelled best.

Nars Luminous Weightless Foundation, £32
Only needs one drop for a really wearable combo of coverage versus real skin.

#IWOKEUPLIKETHIS